Agent 13

Like Agent 44 before him, 13 was always stuck in unusual places. However, where 44 drowned himself in self-pity and crying, 13 decided to cope with his unusual niche with bitterness.

Max: Is that you 13?

Agent 13: No, it's the abominable snowman. Of course it's me.

Max: All right, what have you got, 13?

Agent 13: You name it. Pneumonia, bronchitis, frostbite, the flu.

Max: Look 13, I feel sorry for you, but I'm in a hurry.

Agent 13: I don't know 86. I've got to get out of the spy business. I'm supposed to be a secret agent, not a penguin.


The only time that 13 is ever happy is when he's stationed in a sofa during a party in Kiss of Death. Obviously drunk, 13 also is accompanied by a female agent and the two are having a great time. His worst assignment was when he was stationed in a washing machine for three days. At the end of that, he was so wrinkled that he was forced to iron his skin!

We don't know much about his personal life, not that he can have much of one the way he's always on assignment. 13 is friends with Max, as they have breakfast together on occassion. He is following the family tradition, as his mother was a spy in World War One, but we're not sure on which side.

Agent 13's Hiding Places

The Only Way to Die


Towel Warmer
Maxwell Smart, Alias Jimmy Ballantine


Kiss of Death


Airport Locker


Public Trash Bin
The Decoy


Inside a Painting


The Chief's Safe


Weight and Fortune Machine
Perils in a Pet Shop



Ice Machine
Somebody Down Here Hates Me


Potted Plant
The Mummy


The Man From YENTA


Cigarette Machine in Airport
The Expendable Agent

Washing Machine
A Man Called Smart


Airport Locker
The Spy Who Met Himself Contents


Copyright 1995-2006 Carl Birkmeyer